Love On The Internet
by Colleen Moulding
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Margaret, 38, a divorcee from Hereford was shown how 
to use the Internet by her teenage daughter.  She met Alan,
44, a chemist from New York in a gardening chat room. 

"He asked me a question about Albertine roses," laughed
 Margaret.  "We chatted quite often after that, mainly about 
our gardens at first.  Then Alan sent some photos of his
 garden with him in it, and I straight away thought how 
handsome he was. 

I sent photos back,  half thinking that I wouldn't hear from him
 again, but the e-mails kept on coming and one day after we'd 
been corresponding for about nine months Alan got the chance 
to come to England on business.  We met up in London last 
November and we got on really well together.  I'm going to see 
him in New York in two months time, so who knows what will 
come of it?"


Lizzie Bell was only sixteen when she started chatting to Mark 
on the Internet and found that they didn't live far apart from 
each 
other in North London.  They even knew some of the same people!

After chatting every day for about a month Mark suggested that 
they meet in a cafe  one Saturday morning.

"We decided to both carry a copy of a certain computer 
magazine," 
said Mark, "but I knew she was the one the minute she walked 
in the door."
"I had already told him what I looked like anyway," said 
Lizzie, 
"and I made sure I liked the look of him before I got my 
magazine
out of my bag."

Over a year later Lizzie and Mark are still together and 
planning
an engagement on Lizzie's eighteenth birthday.


Things don't always work out quite so well though as Rebecca
42, from Leeds found out.

Rebecca joined an Internet dating service.  When she first met 
William he seemed like her ideal man,  smart, handsome and 
sophisticated.  At first they had a good time together with 
trips
to the theatre and the races, even a weekend in Paris, until 
Rebecca began to suspect his motives. 

William was increasingly "just a little short of cash" until a 
business deal went through.  Eventually Rebecca realized 
that the deal he was waiting for was marrying her for her not
inconsiderable money.
"I later found out this was not the first time he'd tried it 
either"
said a disillusioned Rebecca. 

There certainly are precautions you must take to keep yourself 
safe if you intend to meet people in this way.  

CHAT ROOM CHECKLIST
For a start please don't believe everything you're told.  He
or she may be a company director  with a big house and a 
company car, on the other hand they may be on benefit and 
up to their eyes in debt.  If someone sounds too good to be
true - they probably are!

Don't reveal too much about yourself.  Use an alias or a 
nickname, this is quite common practice,  and don't reveal 
too much about your physical whereabouts either, especially 
if you live alone or in an isolated place.  There are con 
artists 
who target the lonely and will think their ship has come in if 
you
give out this sort of information.

Be aware that if you put your photograph on the Internet 
anyone can right click on their mouse and put that picture 
anywhere that they like in any context.  Also consider when
looking at photos of others that many people put on photographs
that are years out of date when they were slimmer, younger, 
had hair etc.

Don't even think about giving out your telephone number under 
any circumstances.  Call the other person from a public 
telephone, 
or dial 141 before you call them and they can't get your number 
by 
dialling  1471. (UK)

Use your common sense.  It's easy in the heat of the moment 
to give away details about yourself that you would never 
usually reveal to a stranger.
 
Take your time and don't be rushed into meeting, especially if 
you 
have any doubts at all about someone.  On the other hand if you 
get 
to know someone and they are strangely coy about meeting up 
perhaps 
they are already married, or ten years older or younger than 
they have 
told you.  Beware of men or women who "love" you within days, 
they 
almost definitely have an ulterior motive.

When you do decide to meet, take the same precautions over your
personal safety that you would with any stranger.  Meet in a 
public
place, tell someone where you are going and with whom, keep 
your 
house and car keys with you at all times, be careful about your 
drink 
being spiked and take a taxi home so that your date doesn't 
know 
your home address.

Love and friendship have blossomed on the Internet for many 
people 
who might otherwise never have met, for whom the computer 
cursor 
became Cupid's arrow,  just be careful and look after yourself.


© Colleen Moulding 1999

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Colleen Moulding is a freelance writer living in the south of 
England.  She is also the owner/editor of All That Women 
Want.com http://www.allthatwomenwant.com a magazine, web guide 
and resource for women everywhere.
You have permission to reprint this article in your newsletter 
or on your web site provided that this information is included 
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